As a performance artist of ritual dramas, I found that I often created the very journey that I personally needed to explore. On one rainy weekend in the mountains, my priest and I created a ceremonial experience asking the celebrants to marry themselves.
The ceremony led each participant to approach a festively decorated mirror—look deep within. See all the parts of themselves. . . all their beauty, their ugly, their love, and their hate.
And accept themselves with hope, and fear, and wonder.
The responses were varied: from one fabulous soul who smiled big and gave his reflection a big old juicy kiss; to my mentor who looked at me in glee before looking back at herself in awe and performing the rite as if in a trance; to the sweet one who looked worried as she did the deed, tentatively.
At the end we all shared champagne and wedding cake to celebrate our self-nuptials
What Does Self Love Look Like?
The ceremony was only the beginning. The first step, if you will, in the daily journey in
- The effort it takes to surrender into accepting loving our gifts and our foibles
- The angst found in simply being kinder to ourselves.
- The ‘arrrrgh’ of loving our failures as well as our successes.
Perhaps self-love looks like forgiveness for what we can’t do and gratitude for what we can.
Or maybe it means we choose the apple and cheese over the soda and candy bar.
Or even taking 2 hours for ourselves to collect our thoughts and energy rather than being irritated with ourselves, our kids, our partner(s), and the driver in the car that just cut us off.
There is Nothing to Fix
Self-love is allowing yourself to be you.
Wow! Self-love is, apparently, the mother of all journeys. For there are so many people (that I know personally) who were taught or told that something was wrong with them. That they were lacking or broken in some way—that they weren’t good enough and they need to be fixed.
Sadly it is a subscription to a magazine full of stories that we are horrified to read, but we do it anyway. And unfortunately, it is a subscription that so many are still subscribing to.
But what if you didn’t have to?
What if there was, honestly, nothing to fix?
What if being you – the essence of you – is what you’ve got? And what if it’s fine, just fine? It means that you get to be here now as who you are now-–not as who you’re going to be later.
What if you could subscribe to a new set of tales?
One that had you in the present with the love and acceptance of your Self (and others) right here in this moment.
Do you want to?
Are you doing it already?
The Revolution of Self-Care
Self love isn’t open to judgment or opinion from others. Self love is an act of (r)Evolution.
Recently a friend had surgery with a 6 week healing arc. She mentioned two other friends who had had the same surgery, but who paid no attention to the healing time. Neither of those women could stay away from work, play, shopping, and this or that distraction. She was sad as she told me that both women were now having serious health problems.
She said, “I’m not going to be that woman.”
I nodded and said, “The best gift to your self is to love yourself with rest. And your only job is to heal.”
There is plenty of time to go shopping, see a movie, or take a bike ride. When the knives cut into you, whether literally, as from surgery, or figuratively, as from grief, crisis, or other turmoil – give yourself a break!
And let yourself be healing.
Love yourself enough to know that you’re worth the time it takes to move through this crisis and the next one too.
The Power of Patience
Give yourself the gift of the tortoise. True, it is an old tale wise and true, because indeed slow and steady wins the race. The key is realizing the race is only against you. Give your hare (egoism, competitiveness, arrogance) a rest.
Most skills, such as dance, music – whether expressed through learning an instrument or song – crafts such as sewing or knitting, or even your livelihood, whether it be in business, medicine, or writing, is best learned over time.
My drumming teacher always cautioned us to ‘slow down.’ Playing a polyrhythm fast, just to see if you can, soon turns into a cacophony of noise. He said, “the slower you play and with more patience the faster you will learn and achieve greatness.”
A mile is still a mile regardless of how fast you take it. If you speed through the mile, you may miss vital information and learning. Patience understands the power of smelling the roses and taking the scenic route.
Patience plays a vital part in our learning self-love through the practical application of that love with behaviors that exemplify it.
Giggles, Snorts, and Guffaws
Our manifesto: giggle, snort, guffaw, chuckle, chortle, titter, gurgle, cackle, and fall out!
Oh, and make it a practice to laugh good and hard once a day.
If I don’t feel amused, then I lie on the floor and start laughing on purpose. I put my whole body into it; shake, wiggle, and roll around while breathing in laugh-producing air and laughing it out. Eventually the laughter becomes the laughter at laughter.
Laugh as if you have nothing better to do. Own your laughter and revel in it—there is nothing better than the sore stomach muscles from a bout of raucous guffaws or bodacious giggles. And there is nothing more motivating than the release and clearing that the breath of laughter offers.
Love your laughter with a grinning embrace and fall down laughing.
After all, what’s not to love?
Self Love Looks Like You
People that love themselves understand that in their list of concerns: they matter first.
Of course we care for others, but we cannot serve others until we serve ourselves. We each deserve our portion in the world. So take yours from the buffet and move on down the line.
Taking care of you first is life affirming and energy providing. It is only then you can care for your partner, kids, friends, pets, and the Earth.
As they say on the terrain of the plane: put your own oxygen mask on first and then help others.
It is, in fact, the only sane way to operate and stay laughingly, lovingly alive.
Are You Looking in the Mirror?
How do you love yourself? Share the wealth and tell me how you give the positivity of self-love to yourself!
Contact Lyric of the Silver Lining Experiment to schedule a Positivity Path reading with the Oracle of Initiation. Find the Silver Lining on your journey. Click here for more information and to schedule.
“I found Lyric’s Oracle Readings to be deeply connected with Spirit. She quickly delves into core issues and offers real-world actions that you can take to help manifest your intentions. Her 20-20 insights are informed by years of ritual experience and personal magickal practice and she brings this experience and higher-realm contact to your particular reality at the time of the reading. I can’t recommend her highly enough if you want to quickly cut through the garbage and connect with your best higher self.”